Recently I thanked our girls for cleaning the kitchen. One of them said, “We didn't have a choice.”
Good point.
Every good discipline starts with a bit of coercion. We used to force our kids to shower and brush their teeth. We set bedtimes. We made them read. At some point in our lives, without being asked, we start brushing our teeth, taking naps, and curling up in a hot bath with a good book. A stipulation transforms into a sanctuary.
That is how disciplines work. They are hard to start. And then they become impossible to give up.
I was required to give as a child. My dad insisted that I give 10% of what I made cutting grass or shoveling snow. After that I would save 10%, and then be wise with the other 80%. This is the 10-10-80 budget rule, a mixtape of the greatest hits of Moses, John D. Rockefeller, and Benjamin Franklin. But the most important part is the giving. Saving might offer compound interest, but giving offers lasting joy.
It's a shame that giving in church can be awkward. It feels less like brushing our teeth and more like a trip to the dentist to get lectured on flossing. Some churches teach legalistic giving that feels like purchasing a ticket to heaven. Others teach a prosperity gospel that holds people’s philanthropy responsible for their plight in a way that lacks any sense of gratitude. No thanks. God has given many reasons to be generous; making sure the pastor flies first-class should not be one of them.
Giving won’t make us righteous and it won’t make us rich. It doesn’t make us holy.
But giving might make us happy. Jesus says “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). The word “blessed” can be translated as “happy.”
Harvard professor Michael Norton says that we have focused so much on how our giving shapes the recipient that we have ignored how much it does for the giver. Buying a cupcake might appear to be the path to happiness, but joy actually comes through buying one for the person behind us.
One church leader recently told me that they wish their church raised more money, but they weren’t sure the people had the resources. Perhaps not. But maybe the conversation should be less about filling the church’s bank account and more about unlocking the joy of the givers. Maybe people would give more if they truly believed it would give them joy.
I preached about giving and one person reminded me of the joy they see on someone’s face when they make a major gift to an institution. They light up. The joy is evident. If we love people and want what’s best for them, we will encourage them to give.
So how do we do that?
- Commit to a lifestyle of first fruits. Before we decide what house to buy, what car to drive, or what schools to attend, give to the Lord first. Generosity rarely happens in reverse.
- Give beyond the local church. A tithe should be a floor, not a ceiling. There are so many local charities that deserve support, like St. Jude, local food banks, animal shelters, and justice organizations.
- Let it go. We might find more joy when we donate to general funds, and trust overseeing bodies to steward our gift–rather than earmarking it. Do we really need another college scholarship for left-handed Presbyterian students from South Carolina who affirm the virgin birth and want to be Coast Guard chaplains? No. Let it go.
- Go public. Yes, yes, I know—Jesus talks about giving in secret and left and right hands and things like that. But Jesus also says to pray in our homes, but that doesn’t stop us from believing in the power of public prayer. The testimonials of generous people are powerful. Sometimes the givers are rich; but usually not. They are ordinary people who started small. We all need to hear those stories.
Joy is the best gift we can give. And generosity is a way to find it. Wanna do your kids a favor? Teach them to give. It will change them forever.
I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or their children begging bread.They are ever giving liberally and lending, and their children become a blessing. -Psalm 37:25-26
